Small-Town Elitist

October 31, 2009

Trying to write a post I don’t want to write…

Well, for days now, I’ve felt a need and an obligation to share my thoughts here about the recent gang rape of a teenage girl in Richmond, California. Specifically, I feel I should write about what seems to especially upset and confuse people right now, the fact this girl was raped and beaten for two hours with spectators watching who did nothing to help the girl, not even call the police.

If you look around this blog, you will see I have some painful personal experience with this terrible phenomenon. But I don’t want to write about it. I am struggling with my own memories everytime the Richmond rape is discussed on TV or a blog I read posts about it.

But I will, eventually. Hopefully today. Keep your eyes peeled. It’ll show up eventually. God give me strength to write some truth…

October 22, 2009

Republicans for Rape

Well, it was bound to happen, I guess, after thirty male Republican senators voted against Sen. Al Franken’s amendment granting rape survivors who were assaulted by members of military contractors the right to sue their perpetrators, and Jon Stewart went to town on them (see down below),

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Rape-Nuts
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political Humor Health Care Crisis

…it would be natural I suppose for more people to use satire to shame the thirty neanderthal senators.

Enter Republicans for Rape, a satirical site that features a list and photos of the 30 senators, a hall-of-shame obviously, showing all of them in their pasty, old, toothy-grinned glory. There’s contact info for you to write these assholes. It’s presented as a chance to commend a bunch of “courageous men” willing to stand up for rape, but again, this is satire. If you like at the donate page, they make it clear it’s satirical, and they ask you to volunteer time and money to your local rape crisis center.

I see the need and respect the presence of this satirical site. I think it’s important.

It just cuts to the quick today, as it’s been the first difficult one in a little while in my own trip as a rape survivor.

*sigh*

Well, good on you, makers of R f R…

May 28, 2009

May 28, 1999

Filed under: About Annaleigh,Gang Rape,Healing from Rape,PTSD,Rape and Sexual Violence — by smalltownelitist @ 11:24 pm

So, it’s here. May 28, 2009 has arrived. Finally. And the day is more than half over. I’m still in one piece, still here with you all to write in with a blog post.

You see, today is my annivesary. Not a wedding anniversary. I’m sure I’ll hopefully have one of those one of these days. But not now. This is the anniversary of an attempted rape. I write often here about survivor issues. If you would like to read a snapshots of my personal survivor history, read In Solidarity With the Shakers.

In that post, I wrote:

My sixth hurt happened on May 28, 1999, when I was 17 years old, and 2 weeks before my high school graduation. I was walking to a bus stop with a friend after school when I was chased, caught, and sexually abused on a busy street (with useless onlookers) by five or six guys. My eyes were closed for much of the assault. I didn’t want to face what was happening, and I was just screaming for help and trying to get away, so I don’t know the exact number of assailants I had that day. The exact number of attackers is irrelevant, however. One attempted rapist is one attempted rapist too many already.

No one likes to write this sort of thing, but yes, 10 years ago, on this day, right around this very time of day, I became a survivor of attempted gang rape.

A lot has changed in ten years. Back then, my psychiatric disability was undiagnosed, and I was having a breakdown. Between this assault, the death of my Grandfather four months after that, and then Y2K three months after his passing, there was too much to handle and soon I would enter an inpatient clinic for help. Today I am a very healthy person despite the disability, and I’ve found the meds that help with my Bipolar and PTSD.

I still don’t like water on my face, and I still don’t like walking past groups of men. But it’s managable now.

Today feels almost like any normal day, or at least what a normal day is like for me now. That’s the goal we would as survivors would all like to have one day, to thrive, to not just survive minute by minute of every day, and to not to continue to be a victim in crisis.

I believe that every anniversary, survivors should celebrate who we are, who we’ve become after unspeakable tragedies. We owe it to ourselves to pick up the pieces and do right by ourselves. I have a done a lot of that this year, and continue to do so.

Any survivors who are listening, I wish for you the same, and that you could be as healthy and happy as I am today.

Love,
Annaleigh

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